fatmomsgetfit

I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. –AW

wellbornwarrior

“hey, fuck you buddy. i do what i want,” is basically my life motto already, so

azzyfree

“You know why, Bob?! my bed was too comfortable” is actually my excuse for everything. 

salmiakkivodka

“I think you know I’m filled with existential angst” is 100% accurate tbh

zeiyth

“It won’t happen again but I watched porn instead” LOL Fuckin PERFECT

spacialkiwi

“look at me in the eye, *points at crotch*” I’m fuCKIN

heavysleeping

“Look me in the eye… I don’t give a shit.” Hah

lilirulu

“Hey, fuck you buddy. It’s not of your business” Why is this exactly me.